The Love Fool Day

It’s Valentines Day, possibly the most overrated day of all. I don’t know what changed, but somewhere around  the year of 2000 Norway was invaded by this day that forces heart-shaped creations upon us. Even in WoW it’s impossible to escape, thanks to Love is in the Air event. I bet most people don’t know the origin of the day, anyway. Which is nothing to be ashamed of, since no one actyally seem to be quite sure who Saint Valentine was, what he did or what actually happened to him. Never the less why it’s a good day to buy tacky, fluffy I-Love-You pillows. Some says he was a priest who conducted marriages, secretly, since marriages were forbidden by an evil emperor who wanted an army of single men.  Some says he was a monk who brought children back to life, while others says he was a roman who refused to abandon his Christian believes and died on February 14th. No matter which version is correct, it’s hard to see why it should be related to chubby, naked angels  firing arrows and stuffed animals holding hearts.

Love is money, friend!

I don’t think I’ve ever been a fan of Valentine’s Day, which is why I will be spending it very neutrally by working late. I have been single for pretty exactly one year, which is a personal record for me ever since I was 20. And I must say, feels pretty good sometimes. At least less pressure. No need to try make another person happy, no grief, tears or misery when that plan fails. I think the only people Valentine’s day are good for, are the newly in love ones. Must be nice to walk hand in hand surrounded by hearts and other symbols of love when you still are in that floating on air / living in a bubble phase, but for other ones.., pretty sucky! If you are alone it’s a huge reminder of the fact that you are unloved. If you have been dumped recently, it’s just cruel. But hey, these ones are the lucky ones! Way better than Valentine’s Day while being in a relationship, and then I mean a relationship which has passed the point where you think all your partner’s flaws are cute and adorable. Everywhere you go, you are encouraged to spend your money on glammy crap that will be forgotten within next year.  The pressure of having a perfect date, if you remembered to book a baby sitter and / or a restaurant table some months in advance, that is.  It’s like you are forced to evaluate your relationship, and if  cheap chocolate or a card saying I love you in neon letters make you feel more miserable than romantic,  you are a cold-hearted freak. While Hallmark is laughing all the way to the bank.

I can’t understand why people are so desperate for dates this evening. Dating comes on the “totally sucks” list (right between pugs and Twilight movies)! In attempt to prevent people from trying such horrible things, I will share my own experiences, as a warning. I (not so)proudly present:

Elise’s Worst Dates (top 3):

Less is more? Not always.

Nr 3: The nudist. Guy who was in my film history class at university, and this was the first time we were going to spend some time alone, and not insanely drunk. Which is a shame I wasn’t, cause he thought it would be a good idea to invite me to the beach, which made me feel uncomfortable enough. When I realised it was a nudist beach, it didn’t really help. Date failed.

Erm, no, I have not read Mein Kempf

Nr 2: The nazi. Result of blind date. Seemed very intelligent and well-educated, which he was. We shared an interest in history, and alarm went off when he said it was a tragedy Germany didn’t win WWII. Turned out he was former leader of an illegal, extreme right organisation. Yikes! Date failed.

Brutally dumped

Nr 1: The Valentine. Yes, this is one of the few times I have celebrated Valentine’s day. At least that was the plan. It was our 3rd date, and he invited me to a restaurant. After ordering, he excused himself and went into the bathroom. After 5 minutes I was worried he might have become sick. After 10 minutes I was scared something had happened to him. After 15 minutes, and after going in there to check on him, I was horribly embarrassed when it turned out he had left me at the restaurant. I had to pay for the (untouched) meals and walk home alone. Got some shitty excuse later. Date failed.

 Writing this will probably only prove that I am bitter, negative and cynical Of course I am, hello have we met?  Haven’t always been, though. I have to admit I have done some seriously silly things when it comes to love. Writing poems, making a love book with pictures and notes, writing I love you in 4783 zillions candles outside someone’s house, kidnapping a person at work and take him on a surprise trip to Rome. Stuff like that. But when those feelings are gone, when you fight more than you make love, when you hurt each other more than you respect each other… it just hurts so much and messes up whole damn life, it’s not worth it. And I have said this to myself so many times, it only lasts till you fall in love again. So better not fall at all. And ignore all those little things that try to convince you to, the vibration in a certain persons voice, the way he laughs, the look in his eyes and the 10 000 butterflies flapping their wings inside your stomach. Best not to think about it all, cause there’sno way that it might end well and give you more laughter than tears. Right…?

No matter what you are doing, wishing you a happy Valentine’s day 😀

 

Crazy little thing called love

Some years ago I read about a realm in WoW where they arranged an in-game speed date event. In case you don’t know what a speed date is, it’s an organized gathering of singles at which the participants meet privately for a few minutes of conversation with a number of potential partners and decide who among those they have met they would like to meet again (whoa! That was one long sentence). I think I remember reading that every member signed up on a list on a website, and paid a certain amount of gold to join. And they were encouraged to dress up. I would definitely join in on something like that if this was arranged on my realm, if nothing else for a laugh. One of my friends actually asked me if I wanted to go on a speed date thing in Oslo (in real life ofc), but I am too cowardish to join. Besides I think it sounds a bit tacky, not to mention stressful. I would be horrible at selling myself, and would I even want to? Probably not. And how depressing if no one put you on their “like-list” (I have no idea how it works, I just guessed)!

I have tried other forms of dating, the “our friends decided we would be a nice match”dating and also people from online dating site. Not to mention all the “normal” dates with people you meet through work, school, clubs etc. Some of them have been good, like the one that ended up in building a huge snowman in a park in the middle of the night. Some have been weird, like the time I managed to get my hand stuck in a bench and none of us could get it out. How I wanted to just sink into the ground! And some have been really bad, like the one where the guy went to the bathroom and never came back, or the date with the guy who turned out to be a well-known nazi leader (google is my best friend)! Maybe I have bad judgement, maybe I have been unlucky or maybe I am just an idiotmagnet. Whatever it is, it’s enough to not make me feel guilty for preferring playing WoW some evenings instead of going out being social.

I wonder if some of those WoW speed daters actually met someone they really liked. One thing is for sure, you don’t need an event like that to get in touch with people in game. I have heard of several people meeting in game and falling in love, in fact my last relationship started more or less like that. We  know how well that ended, but I’m sure that doesn’t mean it can’t happen for others. I found an interesting site with some statistics, all from The Daedalus Project:

We hear a lot of anecdotes of players who met their romantic partners in an MMO, but how prevalent is this? In a recent survey, I asked players about their experiences in a variety of courtship stages to get a general idea about the prevalence of romance in MMOs.

Many players have at one point or another flirted with another player. About 80% of female players and 60% of male players have flirted with another player:

About 50% of female players and 22% of male players have developed romantic feelings for another player:

About 40% of female players and 15% of male players have told another player about their romantic feelings for them:

And finally, about 29% of female players and 8% of male players have physically dated someone who they first met in-game:

Seems the females are the most active ones on this subject, and I guess I am guilty at all points myself. Been there, done that. I suppose meeting someone in WoW is just another way of meeting someone online, which becomes more and more common. At least you know share a hobby this way, let’s just hope feelings are there also in the real world. Not really relevant to me anyway, since my life is so exciting that chances are I will end up  like Donna Anthania, crazy cat woman of Elwynn Forest! Oh noes!

Have you ever met someone in-game, in one way or the other? 🙂