Posts Tagged ‘sadness’

My granddad once told me that when people asked me what I wanted to be when I was grown up, I could answer “happy” if I didn’t know what. Well, to be honest, I still don’t know what I want to be, apart from happy. However, there are times I am not. Now is such a time. It’s annoying. It’s tiring. And, which is why I am not too concerned, it’s probably just a phase. I feel blue and moody when seasons are changing.  And outside the first signs of spring have arrived. I am not sure what to do with my current work situation. There are some family issues affecting me. All added up; not being a ray of joy and fresh breeze of optimism. However, I  don’t feel like writing about wow. Killing dragons in a pixellated world might not make much sense to the majority of the (real) world. Writing about it probably even less. I am not to bothered about that, what people thing, but it’s hard to find inspiration when the mood is not there.

They say mmo’s is escapism. I believe in that. Escaping from the real world for a little while. Achieve things you can’t achieve here. Talking to people safe behind a screen. At least that’s how it used to work. At some point in wow I wanted to be more involved in guild. So I did that. And then I wanted to be even more involved. So I did that too. And somehow between that and now I ended up as GM of the guild. And on some days, all I want is not to be involved in guild. At all. Decisions in guild, about raid setup, dkp, forum, applications, progress… it all seems meaningless sometimes. And probably a complete waste of time to many others. Again, not a problem to me in its own, but when there are argues and disagreements over these things, over and over again, it is becoming one.

Sometimes I am thinking that oh, how nice wouldn’t it be to just be able to log in to a game and be anonymous, pick some flowers in Elwynn Forest, enjoy the aurora borealis over Grizzly Hills or just hunt for transmog gear all around the world. Group up with a few friends, have a laugh, maybe do raid finder at some point. I guess this is what WoW is all about to a lot of people. But to me, right now, it’s very much about stress, complaints and the pressure of having to push content, get better ranking, maximise skills, progress over anything else. I used to love that. I still somehow do. Just… would like some peace every now and then.

There’s a chance of meeting really great people in WoW. Some of them you may even meet in RL, like I have done, and become real friends. But then there are some that appear to be a friend but turns out not to be. I can be quite naive. Sometimes believing that someone is a friend does nothing else than backfire on you, in the end.

It would be easy enough to escape from. Escape the escapism. By clicking Escape, harr harr… But seriously, I could quit at any point. Sometimes it’s tempting. But it’s not what i want to do, not yet. There are some people who do turn out to be real friends, also. And those few make the whole thing enjoyable, still.

Ever felt you are really fedup but few things make it somehow worth it anyway? Or am I alone in thinking this :S



Posted: July 31, 2011 in Just me, News
Tags: , , , ,

I know this iste has been terribly neglected all throughout July. Guild times and raid times have been a bit frustrating, progress (well, the lack of it), management, summer times… stuff like that. Seems management issues will change for the better soon, and we have at least killed one more boss in Firlands now. Also, with recent events in Norway, it hasn’t felt right for me to write about killing pixelated monsters really, not because it would be wrong but because my mind has been elsewhere. July has been a month of much rain, grief and sadness.

I welcome August and hoping for better times, both on this site and in general. For starters, I am going on holiday, as we speak I am staring at suitcase wondering how I can manage to cut down  its weight with 4 kilos? I only brought things I really NEED. I think…

Anyway, I am off to Egypt, have a lovely week 🙂