Brb Ice Cream Truck…! and other raid excuses

Posted: May 20, 2011 in Raidtime!
Tags: , ,

Raiding is serious business!

Lately, we are struggling getting enough sign ups for our 25 man raids. Seems we always land on 22-23, and need to ask people to use alts, go off spec, need to ask non-raiders to help out, waiting for people who might come online later, etc. It’s like a big puzzle, and I don’t like it a bit. Ok, so we are perhaps not by definition a hardcore raiding guild. But when you apply here, you do accept raiding three nights a week and let people know if / when there will the times you can’t make it. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that people sometimes have real life things coming up meaning they will not be able to raid. But funnily enough, it always seem to be the same people! So far, my mum has never decided to celebrate her birthday at Tuesday, Thursday or Sunday between 21 and 00 pm. There have been no in-laws to be visited at these hours, nor any kids throwing up. I try to make my late work nights not happen on same days as raiding by planning ahead, and my broadband is behaving nicely, keeping me online and lag-free at 99 % of the time. 9 raiding hours a week is not a lot, I have no problem squeezing in a full work week, 3 visits to the gym, seeing my family and some friends maybe, without having to decline one or several raids.

Maybe it’s easy for me to say since I don’t have a family of my own, but then again many people who do are there for every raid. Always the same 10 people who can’t make it, sometimes more often than they can. And it bugs me!

Not a valid excuse!

Sometimes people come up with more original reasons for not raiding than the usual birthday, family issues and work nights. I have heard “my kids used up all the broadband capacity so I can’t raid for at least 3 weeks”. One guy said the fan he kept behind pc to keep it cooled, not a built-in fan but the ones which blow cold air ar you,  was broken, so he also needed two weeks off, otherwise the pc would get over heated, shut down all power, not only in his house but possibly in the whole village. Lol? What medieval village would that be?

Maybe they simply came over this site. A raid excuse generator when the regular ones are getting thin. Description goes like this:

Are you sick of raiding for the hundredth time on the off-chance you might get loot? Is there no loot left for you in the game, but you’re stuck running the same instance with the guild that got you all your loot?

Of course- excuses for not raiding is just the start. Then comes all the weird reasons for having to leave a raid! Only two days ago our new trialist, a paladin healer, left before first boss was pulled with the message “Omg my family is accusing me for something I didn’t do! I’m being kicked off laptop!” And there he went. And that’s pretty much a normal excuse compared to what other raid slackers have said before. Here’s a selection from my own Crescent Dawn:

  • Party in car next to my house, can’t focus / stop aggro / dps the right target
  • Forgot to equip jet pack, wiped raid
  • Sorry the dog was on my keyboard, pulled everything
  • Not ready for ready check, lactating baby
  • Sorry I could not find my target in the middle by the stairs
  • Rolled down from sofa, hit autorun, fell off cliff and died. Need repair.
  • Damn, spilled my beer on my keyboard, so I went to get a new one. How did you guys do?
  • Soft ice machine broken. Need to go.
  • My modem is on fire! Need to go!!!
  • My neighbour’s car is on fire! Need to go!
  • Fire alarm went off, I’m a fire fighter so I need to go.
  • I need to go to Singapore. Now.
  • I need to go chop wood now. Yeah, I know we are in the middle of Sindragosa, but it’s -20 inside.
  • (10 min later, guy who went to chop wood:) Guys, I need to go. I strained my arm chopping wood.

What is the dog doing on keyboard ? Put it down! I have a cat, but she knows better than jump up on furnitures while I’m watching her. And why are the kids up right before midnight anyway? Put them to bed at normal time, maybe? And…get decent internet, stop playing with fire, liquids and sharp objects! At least for those 9 hours a week. Just so the rest of the raid can actually kill something. Pretty please?

Finishing with some raid excuses seen and heard around the World of Warcraft:

  • omg hold on the kids just covered the dog with honey and peanut butter
  • ex-girlfriend smashing my cable modem
  • brb fishtank is on fire again
  • brb there is a strange light outside my house (never come back after this one)
  • afk drunk hooker just walked in the room.
  • Afk guys, cops are here (never came back)
  • Sorry guys gotta go, my cows got out of the paddock and are running loose on the neighbor’s farm
  • Over vent “brb guys, i have a problem with my (long pause) goose

What to say, really? Guess best thing is to lol at it 😀 Ever heard some bad excuses during a raid?

  1. alacranmex says:

    “What is the dog doing on keyboard ? Put it down!”
    Really? A video game is no reason to euthanize a family pet. 😉

    Funny excuses, my old 25 guild is having the same problem. Normally attendance gets even worse in summer months! Good luck with filling those raid spots.

  2. Draktan says:

    LOL, very nice, got a new one for you

    brb, dog got stuck in toilet!

  3. Baloo says:

    Do you have bad teeth since you never smile for real?

    • Tribeca says:

      Uhhh? My teeth are all good I think, healthy and white, ready to bite people with weird questions :p

      • Silverhawk says:

        Never understood why people have to show teeth when smiling… makes the smile seem fake to me (like an american car sales man, what’s not to trust).

  4. Guro Pettersen says:

    Har hørt flere som man må tenke etter om er riktige, raida med noen på over 20 år, og tanken “Had to go, I need to get to bed, soooo tired.” klokka var seks på ettermiddagen. Jepp. Er nok best å bare le! 😀

  5. Anonymous says:

    Why you got so small eys?

  6. Dennis says:

    Do you remember Bob’s reason for going afk: ‘Sorry I spoiled 2 bottles of fishsauce over my desk and keyboard’! I mean who keeps the fishsauce on his desk anyways 😉

  7. Qrt says:

    •Damn, spilled my beer on my keyboard, so I went to get a new one. How did you guys do?

    I remember saying that once upon a raiding time….. Luckily i always keep a backup in the house so i don’t need to find a store buy one and stuff… hehe

  8. reddriver says:

    lol the funniest excuse ive hear is right inf ront of boss after 2 wipes : umm my gramdma need to logg on wow. gotta go… wtf 😛 if he/her grannies play wow why not finish the raid for him thn:P? mehee_:D

  9. Esoth says:

    Wait, the baby was lactating?

  10. jc says:

    One guy in our raid (he was in his 30s, with a kid) once AFK’d with:


    We never did figure out what the hell he meant, but it’s become the standard “I need to afk for no good reason” call in our guild since.

  11. Udiyvli says:

    Ugh, yeah, right there with you… I’ve never missed a raid except for things like being at Blizzcon or being out of town for Christmas, but those days were scheduled as “no raid” months in advance.

    I understand that stuff happens. I know that real life can be a bitch. I know some people have jobs that are far more randomly demanding than my IT one. We have a healer who’s a lawyer for example, and once had to vanish for nearly half a year due to a very high profile case that took him out of town for most of that time. We have three members who are clergy of various faiths, and they end up with some very sudden reasons for missing raids from time to time. The most extreme being “Member of my church’s son was just hit by a car and killed. Have to comfort them.”

    That sort of thing I’m totally OK with, obviously. It’s the “I’m tired, can’t raid” that you get an hour before start. Or the “Where the hell is so and so?” and you find out they fell asleep and didn’t set an alarm. The “Sorry guys I know I’m the only tank healer and if I’m not there we don’t raid, but my girlfriend is making me take her firend’s car’s tire to a store across town to have it repaired right at raid time.” That’s what bugs me. Or the “I have a cold” excuse. Really? I’ve raided when *all I did all day* was lay in bed miserable with the flu, literally crawl the computer, MT and lead the raid, then crawl back to bed and pass out. I really don’t care that someone has the sniffles. If they aren’t bleeding out their orifices or on their death bed, I expect them at the friggin’ raid. >.<

    • Tribeca says:

      Very much agree 🙂

      I am tired / fed up / not in the mood sometimes too, but when I joined my guild I said I would join to raid, and it’s what makes game fun for me. So I’m there.

      We have socials too, that have said they can only raid every now and then, and that’s fine. Perfectly understandable. But for the ones who are raiders…come raid!

  12. simieski says:

    Post thief!! :p

  13. Anonymous says:

    Whose Simieski !!??

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s